| You wouldn't believe what happened to me. I know, I know it's been awhile. But the strangest of things have taken over, but now they're gone.
As I related to Laine Carstensen, I will now tell you my adventures of the last several weeks...
I made three new friends: a retard, a vampire and a goth. About six weeks ago, I met Donald, the Kleenex-weilding retard who lost his gerbil, Cicero, in a class four hurricane. He consumed all my time for about three days. About five weeks ago, I met Stefan Bloodsucker, a vampire with a potassium deficiency. He drained my time for about three days. About four weeks ago, I met Derrik, a wanna-be punk/goth teenager who takes guilty pleasure in pouring salt on slugs. Derrek melted my time for about three days.
About three weeks ago, I discovered that Stefan had fallen in love with a B-horror movie star named Ivanna Glamore and is now in Hollywood learning how to be a more convincing vampire from her. Donald and Derrek stuck around for the next four weeks. They became integral parts of my routine, my social life, my mind, my actions, my speech, and they basically took over my entire life. Several weeks later, the two have left for good. Donald was taken to a hurricane relief shelter by an angry but sympathetic store owner named Sarita after she discovered Donald in her storage room looking for Cicero. He was throwing tissues everywhere trying to lure the gerbil out of hiding, calling them "Puff-puffs." Derrek met a chemistry nerd named Milton who was secretly taking pictures of Derrek's hot sister. Derrek felt sorry for the creep and decided to introduce him to his sister, Liz.
So there's an end to that. The three came and went, taking over my life and now- at long last- letting go...
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